Dying Hearts
by Duo-chan
Summary: While caught, Heero and Duo are brought to an anonymous operating room. They wake up to a world like noting else they have experienced to play a game for their lives and the dice are still up in the air. Rated M for: language, sex, & violence.
1. 1

Title: Dying Hearts  
  
By: Duo-chan  
  
Date: 07.13.03  
  
Chapter Warnings: None  
  
Notes: I don't know what you're going to think of this. It's an idea that came to me today when I was on my bed starting to take a nap. I ended up laying in half consciousness thinking about it and I couldn't help but start to write. Don't worry, I'm working on this as well as Adrenaline. I'm not going to abandon both. I'm too interested in them to forget about both of them, trust me. - Hope you enjoy.  
  
I know that this is maybe the shortest chapter in the world, but go with me on it, it's a chapter/prologue.  
  
1 - Together  
  
It was dark. Not the fake darkness of night, the darkness that's not truly darkness because of twinkling stars or city lights. No, it was the real darkness that comes with a solid cement room with a four inch thick steel door and no windows. The darkness that comes with the feeling of metal clasped around your wrists and ankles and the knowledge that you are at the physical mercy of those who holed you. The darkness that enshroweds one's mind when you are alone with the only sounds echoing in your ears being that of your own breathing and your heart thudding dully as you wonder what is going to happen to you.  
  
But he wasn't alone. There was someone else with him in this blackened room, someone else who was slumped against the rough, cold wall, grains digging into his back, wrists chaffted by cold metal cuffs, eyes closed or open, seeing the same blackness either way. By the silence it wasn't possible to tell that there was someone else there, but he could faintly here the other's breathing, calm, slow, shallow. For a moment there was the urge to talk, say anything to break the silence, but he ignored it. By breaking the silence he would be inviting a constant murmur of chatter. But would that be so bad? He decided that he couldn't tell. The silence was fine, it didn't both him, so he kept it.   
  
Together the two boys sat, each thinking his separate thoughts, feelings his separate emotions. But nonetheless they were together. Was that a comfort? Again there was no decision to make. He couldn't make it, fine either way. There was the urge to drop the calm mask of clarity, but that would be inviting emotions to the conscious thoughts. Emotions and memories. He suppressed the shiver that threatened to run up his spine and remained silent and calm.   
  
The four-inch thick steel door opened and together the two boys were hauled up and dragged out, into the blinding light of the hallway. He squinted, forcing his eyes to adjust to the sudden light quickly. Not being able to see would be dangerous, not that being at the will of your captor wasn't, it was just better to anhialate what dangers one could. And so they were dragged, together, to a large white room, similar to that of an operating room. Sterile white walls, two twin white sheeted beds, twin IV's, twin heart monitors, twin operating tables.   
  
He couldn't help but turn his head and look at the other boy who was looking at him in turn, something flashing across dark violet eyes before the other forced it away, regaining the passive features he wore. The short-haired boy was surprised, he wasn't use to the other acting as such, he never remembered a time when he wasn't smiling or talking. It had all been an illusion, it would be interesting to find out what the boy was truly like. ...or maybe it wouldn't. He knew that it would be devastating for any of the others to find out what his true thoughts were like. People weren't meant to be forced to suppress such emotions.  
  
Together they were laid on the tables, wrists freed and then strapped down with thick leather bonds, next the ankles and chest and waist. The two guards stepped back, out of view, most likely to the side of the room. He wondered what was happening, for once he couldn't figure the situation out. What was going on? Why were they still together? If OZ did operations...if they were trying to find something out about the pilots, they should have separated the two, should have made them more defenseless. Together they were a team good enough to take down the base, if only one of them could free a hand, or a foot. A single limb would be sufficient.   
  
Doors opened, swishing shut as two pairs of feet walked toward the twin beds, a doctor popping up beside each boy, not looking down at their subjects, but across, at each other. He inspected them deeply, fingers twitching with the urge to strangle them, grab their heads and twist them until he heard the satisfying crunch of their necks breaking, the woosh as their last breaths fled their bodies. They deserved to die for capturing them. For capturing and threatening them. No...they didn't deserve to die for that. What did these doctors do? Nothing. Others were responsible. Others were the ones that truly deserved to die. Others, not these ones. The urge to kill was for others, not the two that stood over the twin beds.  
  
Together he and the other pilot had IV's pierced into their hands, tape placed over the needles, oxygen masks placed gently over their noses and mouths. Together their heads became light, their eyelids heavy, their breathing slowed. 'I hope Duo's okay," was the last thought that ran through Heero's mind as they slipped off into a black oblivion together.   
  
TBC... 


	2. 2

Title: Dying Hearts  
  
By: Duo-chan  
  
Date: 07.13.03  
  
Chapter Warnings: Pain and some angst  
  
Notes: Yeah, I'm posting this right along with the first chapter/prologue thing. I was thinking that I better get you all a little bit more hooked cause 'Together' doesn't really give much of their predicament away and that's the whole story line. Still, don't worry, I'm still working on Adrenaline and - just to prove that I'm not forgetting about it and simply managing my time to write two stories - I am posting chapter 5 along with this.  
  
  
  
2 - Duel souls  
  
  
  
Pain lanced through Heero's chest before he even woke, before he could even bring himself to open his eyes. His heart felt hollow, as though there was nothing in it but pain, no other emotion existed. He moan, feeling tears gather in his still close eyes. He could barely register the soft, prickly feeling of grass under him as he forced himself to pry his eyes open, his ears catching a soft, odd sound somewhere close. Gasping for breath he turned, and blinked. Duo was curled into a ball, hands clasping his heart, shoulders shaking as he sobbed, sharp, jagged sobbing breathing barely being inhaled as tears streamed down his face. The pain washed over Heero, causing his muscles to weaken, forcing him to the ground as he gasped desperately for breath. What was happening? What was he feeling?  
  
"Oh God...oh God..." Duo moaned between sobbing breaths. "Stop...stop...please." His voice was broken, shattered from tears and pain was clearly evident.   
  
Heero wondered if the other boy could be experiencing anything that resembled his own pain. He could tell his heart was pounding in his chest, his mind starting to slowly succumb to the pain, turning his entire body to liquid. No. Slowly he forced his mind to work, building walls around the pain that invaded his mind like a virus. No. He had to think right now. He needed to figure out what was going on. Again his eyes landed on Duo. He needed to find out what was wrong with Duo. Duo never cried. Duo never showed a weakness. Duo hated not living up to the others.   
  
Hurriedly Heero forced the pain from his mind, locking it behind closed doors. Suddenly Duo gasped, causing Heero's head to whip around to catch the teen, still curled, but limbs suddenly limp, tears stopped, eyes staring blankly in front of him as his breath slowly became more controlled. As Duo calmed, the pain behind Heero's walls slowly edged away. Slightly, continuing for a short while until it stopped. He was left with vague feelings of loss and loneliness, depression and self-loathing. The emotions confused him. They were not his.   
  
"Duo?" His voice was shaking slightly, his body was too he realized as he reached a timid hand out and touched the other boy's shoulder. "Duo?" He was quickly becoming strong, forcing the foreign emotions to the back of his mind and heart. Color was slowly draining back into the braided-teen's face. His own face was set stiffly, his mind having cut itself from emotions as he had been trained to do when on a mission. He would have preferred not to, he would have liked better to keep himself open to comfort Duo, but the foreign feelings had been too strong to handle, he could still feel them, vaguely, but they were there.   
  
"Oh God..." Duo gasped, slowly joining Heero as he shoved himself stiffly into a sitting position. His eyes had cleared and were back to their normal glittering violet selves. Those eyes landed on Heero and widened. "Oh God..." This time it was more silent, more of a mutter to himself. Something flickered beyond those eyes, and at the same moment sorrow panged Heero, only momentarily before he could shove it away behind the walls. His mind twitched, something was odd. The emotions...the sorrow...it hadn't been his own. It hadn't been his own emotion.  
  
He blinked. He must be going insane to have thought of something so stupid. "Do you remember what happened Duo?"  
  
The boy in question stared at Heero in amazement for a few moments before taking deep breath and tearing his eyes away, gaze latching on to one of the dozens of trees that surrounded them. "No. But..." his voice trailed off and Heero thought he saw him shake his head as though dismissing a thought, but his shoulders sagged, he felt something relent in himself. But again, he wasn't relenting to anything. He couldn't understand what he was feeling. It didn't matter, as long as he could function.  
  
"What Duo?" His voice was harsh. His voice was always harsh when he blocked himself from feeling. That was simply what happened when someone refused to feel.  
  
Duo slowly turned his wondrous gaze toward Heero once again. He took a stabilized breath. "You're so good at blocking it all away," he murmured under his breath. Heero heard it despite the softness and his brows furrowed slightly. What in the hell was the boy talking about? "But...I thought that it was impossible for anyone to feel as much pain as I do." He stopped himself and bit his lip, eyes once again trailing to a tree.  
  
Heero paused, then reached out and latched his hands on Duo's shoulder tightly, forcing the other to turn and look at him. "What are you talking about Duo?" He wanted to shake away his own thoughts, he had a feeling that Duo had come to the same ridiculous conclusion as himself. But in that case...No. It was completely and utterly ludicrous. Nothing like that could possibly happen.   
  
"I can feel you," Duo stated, voice shallow, but unwavering. He was confident. He knew what he was saying. He believed in it. "I woke up and...God, I felt the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I thought that it was something that they did, and then you woke and it just got worse, I...I'm sorry for the way that I acted. But as soon as you," he looked at Heero's stoic features, "as soon as you shoved your pain away it went away. All of it." He shook his head. Maybe he wasn't as firm in his thoughts as Heero had thought in the first place. "It's impossible. But I can feel," his hand came up to rub his temples, "I can feel what you feel Heero. I'm certain of it. I'm sorry."  
  
That annoying habit. It had gone away for the longest time. And now it was back again. Saying he was sorry. Sorry for what? "You're right," Heero assured, realizing that the teen was. His own conclusion had not been far from Duo's. And sure enough, it explained the emotions that he was baring himself from, his own, and the ones that didn't feel like his. The ones that he hadn't experienced before, but was feeling nonetheless. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Now we know what they were doing," he stated, standing quickly and hauling the other to his feet. Heero looked around and noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that Duo was doing the same.   
  
"It's a forest. Must be close to a village or a town because I can smell pollution," Duo stated.  
  
Sure enough when Heero inhaled deeply he could smell it as well, he was surprised he hadn't noticed it earlier. "It must be an experiment," it was an obvious enough statement and Duo snorted slightly. "They want to see how well we can function. They want to see how it effects us."  
  
Duo grinned, his normal grin, the one that Heero would normally have mentally groaned at seeing, but now he almost wanted to wince. He could still feel Duo, despite the barriers he had put up. He could feel how utterly fake that smile was. How could he have taken it all in so easily before? How could he have accepted it so easily just the other day? "We need to find civilization and contact the others before they try to infiltrate the base."  
  
"Unless they haven't already," Duo stated, voice light and boisterous.   
  
Amazement flickered behind Heero's barriers. It was his own emotion, at the fact that Duo could be the way he was despite what he was feeling. Also amazement for the fact that anyone could be feeling the same amount of pain that he felt and survive without blocking it from his mind. The fact that he could feel Duo's emotions so strongly lead him to believe that the other teen didn't know how to block himself from them, that he had lived his entire life with those haunting feelings ever present in his heart. His barriers flickered for a moment and pain lanced through his causing him to gasp as his lungs suddenly constricted. A heartbeat later he had smashed it back in place and was staring down at Duo in shock. The teen had collapsed, breath coming harshly, eyes half rolled into his head, glazed and barely conscious. How could Duo be so sensitive when he had lived his entire life with such pain.  
  
And then it hit him. A cold calculating reason, the emotions behind it safely locked away. Duo was feeling everything that Heero felt, and Heero not only had his own pain but Duo's as well. Thus, Duo felt his own pain twice to the extent than he normally would. It made sense. Why Heero had woken up and the pain had continued to intensify. The fact that he kept reflecting the pain to Duo whose own emotions heightened and returned to Heero. A never ending and, most likely, fatal circle, had Heero not been trained to block such things from his mind.   
  
He snorted and picked up the fallen teen easily, concern licking the edges of secured walls. They needed to get somewhere where they could rest. A safe house, hell, even a hotel, as long as they could get some sleep and face this thing with somewhat more clear minds than what they had now. Decision made, the short-haired teen started to walk toward the smells of smoke and pollution.  
  
It was only a matter of minutes before Duo's breathing became stabilized and his eyes once again cleared. Duo's shame flickered at the back of Heero's mind and he set the other down so that he could walk on his own, growling in irritation when the braided boy muttered an apology, instantly regretting it when Duo winced, obviously not from the growl itself. But now that he was meaning to do it, now that there was a reason and Heero was consciously blocking out his emotions when he shouldn't have needed to, it was harder to keep the walls up. He would need to practice this. He would need to make sure that he could keep them up without thinking about it, even when he wasn't needed as a soldier, otherwise he and Duo might end up killing each other. It wasn't a pleasant thought.   
  
Ten minutes later and they broke out of the thinning forest and started walking into a small town. Small, meaning that it was the kind of town that one stopped at when he had hit ten o'clock on the road and was needing a place to eat and sleep before hitting the road once again. Small, but nice. Comforting in the fact that they had hotels and food and some small stores, a mix of boutiques, galleries, and clothing shops.  
  
Duo managed to pick the pocket of a woman who was walking down the street with her child, returning to Heero's side after apologizing profusely with thirty-five dollars in his hand. He also managed to stumble into a man just about to get into his car while leaving the hotel, snagging another fifty dollars. The smile he threw at the other teen looked true enough, but Heero would never believe in Duo's smiles again, they all had a lingering lost and sorrowful quality to them. When Duo had stolen the money he had recognized barred feelings of true apologizes and an undying quality of survival. It seemed that all of Duo's emotions, every one that lanced Heero in the heart when he had woken up nearly half an hour ago, were all backed by the driving need to survive. Duo's entire being was made up with that one word.   
  
The eighty-five dollars was enough to get them a one bed room for one night with ten dollars to spare. Maybe enough to stop at one of the smaller fast-food restraints and get something for each of them. Heero decided to go, the soldier part of him telling Duo that he shouldn't leave incase the people he had stolen from recognized their missing money and his face. It would not be a good combination and this was not the time for one of them to be caught for petty theft and thrown into jail.  
  
For some reason Heero thought that when he left the room and walked out of the hotel, that Duo's emotions would start to fade away from behind his barrier. It didn't happen. They stayed, along with his own, on the edges of his conscious mind, just enough for him to recognize what they were, that they were there at all. He hurried himself, walking quickly down and across the street, not trusting that he could leave the other for long, though not truly knowing why the thought struck him. It wouldn't have before. He would have taken his time, liking the time that he had to himself. But he wasn't by himself. He never would be completely alone again for the rest of his life. Or at least until the connection between Duo and himself was somehow terminated.   
  
The trip only took fifteen minutes and soon enough he was back in the hotel, swiping the thin hotel key-card through the lock, waiting until the small light flashed green before opening the door and stepping inside, eyes searching the room until they came to land on Duo who lay on one side of the bed, eyes closed, breathing coming calmly and slow. Asleep. He set the bag of food on the hotel table. He didn't feel hungry enough to eat, but exhaustion dragged at his body, tugging more violently as he watched Duo's sleeping form. Smoothly he kicked off his shoes and slid under the covers beside the other teen, not having a problem with sharing the bed. It had happened enough in safe houses that were not meant for two people but ended up getting them anyway. All of them had gotten use to sharing smaller space, living in spaces that weren't even meant for a single person when needed. Sighing, Heero allowed his eyes to slid shut and sleep to take him.  
  
It felt as though only a few minutes had passed before Heero's eyes snapped open, his breath coming in labored gasps, heart beating wildly, mind fogged with pain, sweat drenching his body and the blankets that were tossed around him. Through the pain he heard sobs, the sound now familiar to his ears, but they were faint, not close, shielded by something. For a few futile seconds Heero fought for control of his mind and body, sighing heavily as he smashed his mental barriers in place. The sobs came to a choked stop, followed by a heavy thud.   
  
Instantly he was standing up, taking the few steps that it was to the bathroom, opening the door to lay eyes on, at first, the sink, porcaline tile crushed in two places where inhumanly strong hands had grasped it. And then his cobalt eyes slid down to the ground where Duo's unconscious figure lay, sweat drenching, hair frazzled, tears staining his face. A heartbeat, and then he understood. In sleep he had let down his barriers. Duo hadn't stood a chance. He had probably snapped awake as soon as Heero fell asleep, and dragged himself to the bathroom. Concern, sorrow, amazement filtered across Heero's mind. He was aware of all three of his own emotions as he once again scooped Duo up and walked back to the bed, tucking him under the blankets.   
  
As he sat back in one of the hotel chairs another thought struck him. How was he ever going to be able to get sleep if Duo always felt him? If Duo didn't have a barrier against the emotions that he felt? There was only one answer. An answer that Heero dispised as much as he dispised what had been done to them. Drugs. If he ever wanted to sleep and not kill Duo in the process he would have to drug the other pilot. Of course, from what Duo was normally like, he hopefully wouldn't mind. Of course...Heero contemplated the barred emotions of Duo's that he felt. The oddest thought stuck him, or at least, it was odd to the soldier inside of him, the soldier he was trying to be at the moment. The fact that Duo constantly apologized, or when they had first met and now started once again.   
  
From Duo's emotions, Heero could not detect anything in the other boy that would lead to such a habit. There was pain, loss, hatred, suspicion, and self-loathing - the last of which also puzzled Heero. There was nothing that would lead Heero to answers regarding the habit. Nor was there anything to tell him why Duo constantly smiled and laughed and acted as though he were perfectly fine. Suspicion? Could it drive the other enough to hide himself from everyone he knew? Most likely. That was partly Heero's reason. The other part being that, without his disguise as a perfectly trained soldier, he could not imagine functioning like a normal person with the emotions that constantly plagued him. He wondered if he could ask Duo how he lived.  
  
He shook his head. No, it was ridiculous to think about. Duo was still trying to hide himself from Heero, still smiling and talking, well...maybe not talking, but smiling, trying to cover up his true self when it was all inside of Heero, when Heero could feel everything that was in Duo's heart. It was hard to admit that he had dearly under-estimated the braided boy, that the other teen deserved his respect and much as any of the other pilots. Not that he hadn't respected Duo's street smartness and slickness in his missions, his quickness of thought and slyness of action. But now...for some reason now he was looking at everything in a different light.   
  
He snorted at himself. Of course he would be looking at things in a different light, what person wouldn't when they could feel another person inside of them? It was only normal. That drew another snort. Heero had hardly ever considered himself normal, and that had been because of the emotions that he felt. Now, either he was normal, or Duo had joined him in being un-normal. Or was it in-normal? A shake of his head. Ludicrous thoughts. To think that his soldier self was thinking about such things. J would either be stuffing him into another training session or laughing his ass off at him. Another indecision, maybe the man would be doing both. That seemed most likely.   
  
Heero forced himself to stop thinking about it. Cleared his mind and sat, simply existing.   
  
TBC... 


	3. 3

Title: Dying Hearts  
  
By: Duo-chan  
  
Date: 07.14.03  
  
Chapter Warnings: 1+2 (slight shounen-ai)  
  
Notes: Sorry that this took so long to write, I've kinda *whimpers* (admit...) that I have been favoring Adrenaline. But I have up to chapter 10 written and so I can allow myself to focus (hopefully) on this story for a bit as well.  
  
3 - Survival  
  
It was apparent that the other pilots were getting ready to leave when hero and Duo stumbled into the safe house. Quatre dropped the bag that he was carrying and instantly ran over to Duo, embracing him tightly. "Allah!" The blond gasped, pulling away slightly before diving to hug the braided boy once again. "What happened to you guys? You just never came back. At first we thought that it might have taken longer than we expected," he explained, finally pulling back all of the way, guiding the two into the small living room, "but then when an entire twelve hours past that idea was devastated. Next we thought that maybe you had gotten other missions, but normally you would check in." He eyed Heero on that one. Duo didn't always check in, he constantly 'forgot' to.   
  
The blond sighed as he watched the two silent pilots sit and then did so himself, shaking his head, rubbing his temples. "What happened?" His brows were furrowed in worry now, he had sensed something different and wasn't going to let up on them until he figured out what it was.   
  
"Hey Q, it was nothing. Just a little catch and release," Duo explained cheerfully, lounging back on the couch, arms spread over the back of it, one laying behind Heero's neck.  
  
Heero remained silent, eyes flickering to Duo who had fallen back to himself so easily that it could be considered scary, if Heero's soldier's mind could describe anything as such. Or maybe it was simply amazement again. He decided on that instead. It fit better into his own mind. Duo was bothered, he could feel it. Hell, Duo and himself were both rather perturbed at what had been done to them, most of their trip back to the safe house had gone in complete silence - something that had been odd enough in itself. But, despite the unease and the panged emotions that Heero had become somewhat useful to for the past two days, Duo was falling back into his old mask with ease.   
  
Quatre didn't look completely convinced. Luckily enough though, before he could question them any further, Trowa and Wufei walked into the room, green and black eyes widening slightly in surprise. "What happened?" The question left both their mouths at the same instance as they started into the room and the two pilots threw each other odd glances, shrugging slightly before they took seats.   
  
A shrug, and Duo easily dismissed their worries. "Nothing. I was just telling Q that it was a catch and release. Not that the bad guys liked it too much," he grinned, winking at the waiting pilots mischievously. "But," he sighed, sinking further back into the couch, "we got our thing done and everything's cool as cool can be when Hell freezes over."  
  
There was a pause as the pilots contemplated the more than odd statement and then Trowa turned to Heero, raising an eyebrow slightly. "So?" He asked, apparently not taking Duo's explanation to heart.  
  
"What?" Duo gaped at the copper-haired teen, pulling his arms from the back of the couch and accidentally hitting Heero in the head in the process. He threw a crazed apologetic grin over his shoulder before turning back to his prey. "You don't trust my judgment of the situation?" His eyes widened, glimmering with fake hurt as Heero contemplated his back. Maybe the hurt wasn't as fake as it seemed. "Oh, Tro, I'm stung. Right here, ya know?" He gasped, hands clutching his chest, right over where his heart pounded dully. "I am a Gundam pilot too after all." After this statement he rolled his eyes, a soft, exasperating sound coming from his lips as he inspected Trowa's unchanged features. "Oh to hell with it," he muttered, waving his hands in the air exaggeratedly. "Go ahead and ask him!" He fell back limply, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting slightly. Quatre rolled his eyes and Wufei snorted along with Trowa who turned, once again, to Heero.  
  
Heero shrugged. "He's right. We were caught and-"  
  
"-And boy don't I need to get some rest! I'm exhausted!" Duo exclaimed, earning quickly looks from the others excluding Heero. He bounded up and stretched, still grinning. "Shoot, takes a lot out of a guy. Okay. I'm going to bed. See you all in a few hours," he assured, fleeing the room quickly, his heavy footsteps echoing in the house as he made his way upstairs.   
  
The blue-eyed teen stared after him wonderingly. Duo didn't feel tiered, so why the hell was he going up to bed. Sure the other hadn't been getting much sleep, fore sure he hadn't, but still...He snorted and turned to the three that were looking at him. "The infiltration went wrong. We miscalculated a video camera and were caught on tape. We fought but were over taken, too many soldiers to kill in order to get out." He thought for a moment. "I don't think that we were kept for more than thirty hours before we managed to escape." A white lie never hurt anyone, and he might as well skip what had truly happened for the time being. Duo seemed more than bothered with the idea of telling the others. "Duo explained it well enough in fewer words," he relented, gaining a raised eyebrow from Trowa. The only one who was left suspecting. He glanced at the other two. Okay...so maybe Trowa wasn't the only one who was left suspecting. A mental shrug. That was okay. He would find out what was bothering Duo and then fix things. Ironic enough, he could feel Duo's emotions, but he still couldn't figure out what was truly wrong with the other teen.  
  
For the time being the other three nodded, slightly hesitant, but nods nonetheless, relenting to him.   
  
After carefully inspecting each pilot to make sure that their questions were at least temporarily locked away, Heero nodded, stood, and made his way upstairs after the braided boy. And it was no surprise in the least to find that the object he had been looking for was in their shared room, sprawled over his own bed, head buried in his pillow, muscles lax. As the blue-eyed boy eyed the other he realized that Duo's emotions had changed slightly, become slightly hazy as a stiff determination set over the other's mind.  
  
"You're not tired Duo," Heero stated impassively, though his eyebrows were still drawn together as concern and curiosity floated in his subconscious.   
  
The braided boy sighed heavily, and flipped himself over onto his back as he threw a small bottle at the slightly taller teenager. "I will be. I know as well as you do that you're exhausted and that this is the only way you're ever going to get any sleep." He threw an arm over his eyes and expelled a heavy breath of air. "So get your skinny little ass into bed Yuy."  
  
There was a hesitant pause as the boy in question raised a skeptical eyebrow at his partner. Yuy? He looked down at the bottle in his hand, fighting the urge to chew his lower lip. Duo would only call him that if he had indeed taken drugs. ...Or if he were very angry and frustrated, neither of which he could feel at the moment. But, and this time he had to fight combing his fingers through his hair from his own frustration. But he couldn't tell much of what Duo was feeling behind the hard resolve the other had set. His own barrier acting along with the sudden haziness that Duo's single strong emotion placed and he was lost. And for some reason he found himself not liking it.  
  
But his subconscious frustration and discomfort did not stop him from stripping to his spandex and sliding, relieved, into his bed, and quickly allowing sleep to over take him.   
  
- - - - -   
  
Duo felt Heero's barrier fall almost as soon as the other pilot's head hit the pillow. Like before the instantaneous shock shook him - the first heart beat not horrid - and then, within moments the reflecting emotions of his and Heero bouncing from one to another until Duo was sweating and gasping for breath. He hadn't lied to Heero, he would be sleepy...eventually, and drugs were probably the only way that Heero was going to be able to sleep considering that Duo did not have a barrier against his emotions, but he had to at least try. It was a good enough idea, to think that he would be able to accept Heero's emotions as well as his own. And, even though it was an even crazier idea, maybe if he could embrace Heero's then the reflection wouldn't be as crazed and as intense. He would have shrugged had he been able to move. It was worth a shot.  
  
So, it was with that steal resolve that came along with being Shinigami, the God of Death, that Duo dragged himself off the foot of his bed, pulled the blanket over his entire body, and curled up against the wall. He would either figure out how to deal with feeling a hundred different things at once, or he would pass out trying.   
  
It ended up being a mix of both. Eventually the braided boy was able to get control of his mind and think coherently while his and Heero's emotions thundered in his head. Almost instantly after the achievement his eyes had rolled up into his head and he had been claimed by black oblivion.  
  
He woke up in bed. His own. Under the covers. Stripped of his shoes, socks, shirt, pants, and left only in his boxers. His head did not ache. Heero's emotions were suppressed and the knowledge made the braided boy growled in frustration. So he might have passed out, but it was simply because it had taken so long for his mind to filter through everything that had been in it. He couldn't ask Heero to suppress his emotions for life. The guy felt. It was a lot more than Duo had known four days ago, and far be it from him to force the other to be in Perfect Soldier mode for the rest of his life because of Duo. All thoughts which lead up to one conclusion. He had to get Heero to put down his barriers the only way that he knew how. Force him to feel something. A thought that did not send warm fuzziness down his spine because he knew the way that he could achieve his goal and he was not looking forward to it in the least.  
  
The fact that he wasn't looking forward to his task did not change Duo's mind however. And that was how he found himself launching from the bed at Heero as soon as the door creaking open five inches, slamming the other boy to the ground painfully hard. Duo could faintly feel the other's annoyance with the situation, but it was nearly none existent. No, he needed something more. Something that would knock Heero from his shell. A punch? Gah...he would say yes. A punch and maybe a knee in the balls. No. That thought made even Duo wince, though he was the attacker. Stealing his Gundam. That would bring Heero's emotions out. And it would also bring about Duo's death. Something else? Yes.   
  
It had been a flash, a time less than it took for Duo to blink that the thoughts rushed through his mind. "You need to let down your barrier," Duo said bluntly as he stared down at the brown-haired teen beneath him. The other didn't respond and simply blinked up at Duo who sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes. I know. You either do it or I have to force you to." At that a flash of humor flittered across Duo's mind and Heero's lips twitch upward into a smile. He didn't believe Duo could do that. Duo smirked back, vaguely feeling cautious curiosity in Heero before he dipped down and pressed his lips against the other boy's.   
  
And suddenly Heero's emotional wall came tumbling down like a toothpick cabin that had just been stepped on by a cat.   
  
Duo grunted slightly under the sudden impact, but his mind was still there - if not somewhat muddled - and he could think coherently to himself, and he was not writhing on the floor in pain. His mission being an overall success, he quickly pulled back from Heero and bounded up to his feet, which proved to not be the best of plans as dizziness crashed over him like a breaking wave, sending him stumbling backwards, hands searching for something to grasp. His fingers found nothing but air, but a strong hand clamped down on his shoulder, steadying him. After a moment he blinked, looked up, and mentally groaned as his stomach shriveled like a grape that was quickly turning into a raisin. But instead of the sun, it was the heat of Heero's stare that was causing the sapping of liquid and the wrinkled transformation.  
  
There was no need to assure the other that he was fine, especially no need to act as though he was when Heero would easily see through him with their connection fully in tact. And so he didn't. Instead he stood, thankful for the other's help, and pressed the heel of his hand to his head. "Sorry..." He muttered, taking controlled breaths as he waited for the dizzy spell to pass over him before looking up and flashing a downcast, yet reassuring smile. "I'm okay. Just a little dizzy after all of that." The truth. Oh, how truthful he was being. 'All of that' including, very much so, kissing Heero, something that Duo had never thought of doing in his life and living to tell the tail. Not that he was going to tell anyone, it was simply a matter of speech, nothing more nothing less. Maybe something less? No. Now his mind was wandering away from him again. He needed to concentrate. Focus. "Thanks."  
  
Heero's eyes were narrowed, the concern that Duo felt was evident in his features, though the braided boy didn't know if he saw simply because he could feel it, or if it were actually visible. He decided not to injure his brain and thinking further on the matter and let it drop, but that decision did nothing for the penetrating blue eyes that were still on him. "Are you okay Duo?"  
  
The braided boy nodded, though he made no move to step away from the steady grip on his shoulder. "Yeah. I'm fine." Heero's eyes narrowed. Oh yes. Emotions. Connection. Nothing being hidden. He would have to be a little bit more specific so that Heero didn't think he was lying. That would be no good, now would it? "I will be fine. Don't worry." The statement didn't help, Duo could still feel Heero's concern wrenching his stomach. Duo's smile flickered. "I'm just...tired." And yet another truth. His eyes felt heavy and his body was being dragged down to the ground. Apparently, even though he could maintain thought and composure and could deal, the added emotions were more pressing on the physical body than he imagined. Duo saw Heero nod and felt the other start to building up his walls, and suddenly panic flew threw his body as he turned toward the other, knocking them both from their feet and smashing them back into the ground yet again. But it did it's job. Heero had stopped. "Don't," Duo breathed heavily, noticing the confusion that was not his own and the change in Heero's feature. "Don't do that. It's not fair. I can't be selfish. And I can deal with this. I just need to get use to it," he explained choppily, hands pressing Heero's shoulders into the ground.   
  
For a moment Heero didn't respond, instead his eyes silently searched Duo's, their emotions sliding by each other and through each other's minds and hearts. After what seemed to be an eternity the blue-eyed teen nodded, lifted his hands up to grasp Duo's waist, and hauled both of them off the ground and to their feet. "Agreed. Now go back to sleep."  
  
Duo nodded, allowing himself to be guided back to his bed and placed under the covers. "But you can't put it up once I'm asleep," he murmured softly, knowing that Heero would hear him.   
  
Another nod. "Understood," was Heero's response, at the same time which something softened in his emotions and Duo knew that he didn't need to worry about the other pilot going behind his back. Heero would respect his request. Heero understood the importance of them being able to live life somewhat normally. Heero would keep feeling.   
  
- - - - -   
  
It was nearing midnight and Heero, Trowa and Wufei sat in the living room of the safe house, each reading their separate books. Duo had gone back to sleep nearly four hours earlier and Quatre was in his own room, taking a shower and getting ready to go to bed himself. He was just flipping the next page when pain flashed through his mind, fire licking his hip suddenly, causing the messy-haired boy to grunt in surprise. The other two in the room had barely had the time to look up from their books before Heero was out of his seat, running up the stairs toward his and Duo's bedroom, flinging open the door and snapping on the light, his eyes instantly landing on Duo who was looking at him with large, surprised violet eyes, rubbing his hip tenderly.  
  
"What happened?" The question fell automatically from his lips even though he had pretty much pieced together what had happened. The braided man had been making his way to the bathroom and run into the doorway in the dark. Duo's response was as such, though he was still eyeing him somewhat warily. "What?"  
  
Duo blinked. "How did you know?"  
  
It was Heero's turn to blink, knowing, and yet seriously regretting that he understood. By the look that Duo was giving him, he had figure it out as well. "We'll have to be more careful," the blue-eyed boy stated. Of the five, he and Duo were the more reckless ones. The ones that didn't quite care if they broke a bone or were shot in the arm or the leg. Though Heero was more complying because he could shut out the pain, Duo was so inclined simply because that was the way that he fought: 'Give all and take nothing back with you. Fight your best to the very end.' No. This was not good. On so many levels was this not good. "Much more careful," he informed, gaining an understanding nod from the other. If one of them was injured in battle they might as well both be. They were gambling in a game they didn't know the rules to and the dice were already rolling.  
  
"Sorry to disturb you," Duo stated, chewing his bottom lip as he massaged his hip one last time before stepping into the bathroom. "All I needed was the bathroom," he informed as the door closed behind him.  
  
Duo was guilty. Heero could tell that as well as the fact that the other was surprised and concerned regarding the situation at hand, and reasonably so. But, staring at the bathroom door didn't help anyone, and so Heero inhaled deeply and walked back downstairs to his book, earning raised eyebrows from both pilots who were still sitting where he had left them, though he had no doubt that they had been wondering and maybe even talking. He nodded, dismissing the situation, sat, opened his book, and continued to read silently. He would wait until Duo came out of the bathroom and was in bed before going up. If the braided-boy was still awake then he would bring up the question of what to do about the other three. They would need to know incase something happened to one of them, or incase of an emergency. There were too many possibilities to think of. Too many reasons that the others had to know what had happened and what was going on. And it all lead to one main reason. One goal that kept them all alive with all odds against them.   
  
Survival.  
  
TBC... 


	4. 4

I do not own Gundam wing and do not make profit from these writings.

10.28.2006

Duo Chan

Dying Hearts

4 –

Duo stared at the empty doorway long after Heero had turned around and returned downstairs. If they could feel each other's physical emotions, when strong enough, this was going to be even less fun than it already was turning out to be. He wouldn't even be able to jack off in the shower safely. Of course, if Heero already knew about everything else he felt, having the guy know when he was masturbating shouldn't have been considered all that big of a deal. His frustration had been detected and Heero's soft flicker of confusion was enough to reel Duo in and bring his thoughts in check. Ten calming breaths later he had dampened his frustration and Heero's suspicions had drained away. He would have been content with figuring out how to annoy the other pilot or bring about eliciting some sort of emotion, but he couldn't even consider it when he could already tell what the other was feeling.

Duo relaxed slightly once he heard the bedroom door close behind Heero. His hands were gripping the edges of the sink hard enough to make his knuckles white and the sight was hypnotizing. This was dangerous, extremely dangerous. If he and Heero could feel each other physically then battles were going to be Hell. Well, at least for Heero they would be. Duo didn't know exactly how much the other pilot got injured during battle, but he knew himself, he didn't think he even remembered a battle he had come out of completely unscathed. It was one of the downfalls of having stolen Deathscythe from the mushroom haired doctor. The machine had been made to contain a small pilot and Duo was pretty handy when it came to mechanics, but the gundam still threw him around like a marble in a tin can.

That didn't even count all the infiltration missions he had done so many times. Duo knew that he was at his best with long range attacks, that wasn't to say that he couldn't hold his own against OZ soldiers in hand to hand combat, but he didn't have the advantage of Heero's inhuman strength, Trowa's almost adult height, or Wufei's background in martial arts. Quatre tried his damnest not to get near anybody when he was out of his gundam and unarmed, if not only for the reason that he simply hated killing and it was bad enough without having to see the face of the person you were destroying. Duo was a good fighter, but he had been raised on the streets, he had been raised to survive – and a lot of the times he had to take a lot in order to dish it out as well.

With a heavy sigh Duo looked up and stared at himself in the mirror. His face had lost some of its color and he could see the beginning of what would soon become heavy bags under his eyes. The strain of handling Heero's emotions on top of his own as well as dealing with all the surprises that started popping up was starting to take it's toll on his body physically. Heero had amazing resolve and strength. It had shocked Duo when he had finally been able to deal with the bombardment of feelings, and it still made him surprised when he sat back and felt it. Strong, unbreakable cables of strengthened belief ran through Heero. It was what made him such a good soldier, the fact that he so deeply believed in what they were doing. That it was the right and necessary thing. It was that strength that allowed him to block out everything else and become the Perfect Soldier. It wasn't shocking to feel himself wishing that he had that same kind of strength. Instead, Duo simply felt the need to do whatever was necessary in order to live life. He fought tooth and nail to survive. It had been the type of world that he had been born into, and he had never been able to see the world in any other light. Until now that was, and even now it seemed impossible that he could see it any differently. After all, if Heero was so strong and still felt guilt and anger towards the killings that they committed, then Duo didn't have a chance. And even though he felt Heero's strength, it was still Heero's and not his. As much as he wished he could, Duo just couldn't quite loose himself in it enough to believe that it was his own.

He wanted to get out of it somehow, to be able to have his feelings to himself again. Even without the connection Duo had had a certain amount of envy regarding Heero's ability to become so amazingly stoic; and even though now he knew the other wasn't blocking out the world so much as simply believing in a higher standard, he felt shamed by his own, weaker messages that must have been portrayed to Heero. The other pilot tried to hide it, but Duo could see it in his eyes and feel it. Duo's shame, guilt, unworthiness, and bitter self-critique; Heero could feel all of it and not only did it surprise the other, but it made him feel sorry for Duo.

On top of all of it he could tell that Heero wanted to tell the others what had happened and was just waiting for the right time to corner him and ask how they should go about it. The last thing that Duo wanted was the other pilots finding out how he was becoming yet another disability. He doubted that they would worry much at all about Heero, but he was a whole different story – the bright bubbly boy who seemed not to take the war much more seriously than a six year old playing with green army men. They would worry about him, and they would agonize about it, and he'd have to deal with facing those unknowing and cautious stares every time he saw them.

"God damn it Duo, pull yourself together already," he snarled at his reflection, his voice low and vicious. "With all the crying you've been doing it's amazing you haven't shriveled and grown breasts." He snorted at the thought and chuckled. "It's a good thing there aren't girls in the house." With another chuckle he pushed himself from the sink and started the shower water as he stripped himself down. Heero was downstairs for the moment, probably waiting for Duo to get finished with his shower before they spoke. Duo would make sure it was the longest shower physically possible.

The longest shower possible turned Duo's hands and feet into pale raisins of flesh. He had washed his hair twice and then just stood under the seething hot water until it became cold enough to make goose bumps break out over his body and forced him out. Faint smells of cooking had been sucked into the bathroom, stirring his stomach and reminding him that it had been far longer than he usually liked between meals. Despite his resolve to stay away from Heero as long as possible the knowing at his inner abdomen got him toweling off quickly and jetting into the bedroom so he could grab his clothes. Thankfully Heero was not in the room, so he wouldn't be delayed from food and he wouldn't have to suffer the conversation he was so desperately attempting to avoid. Not so thankfully his pager on the side of his bed was blinking a little white light repeatedly that, just as honorably as Heero's laptop, told him he had a mission set up for him.

Hopping into a pair of pants, Duo pulled together a knapsack of the things Heero and the others had pooled together for him. Unlike Heero's WingZero, Deathscythe had been completely emptied of supplies and backup materials. Duo had actually been planning on restocking after the mission that had gone so wrong. With a tug he pulled one of Heero's green tank tops over his head and shoved his pager into the back pocket of his pants before throwing the backpack over his shoulder and heading downstairs.

"Duo, why don't you come and get something to eat?" Quatre's voice filtered knowingly from the kitchen where the soft sounds of people dinning came to Duo's ears.

Duo pushed through the door with a strong smile on his face. "Sorry, can't, but I'll take something to go. Smells good." He pulled a few plastic bags off the kitchen counter and leaned over the empty seat that was suppose to be reserved for him as he shoveled food from the plates into the bags unceremoniously. "Got a mission. Gotta go a.s.a.p." The braided boy explained jovially. While bent over the food his eyes snapped sharply to meet Heero's, he received an indistinct nod and then pushed himself back so he could zip up all the bags and shove them into an empty grocery bag.

"Are you sure you have to go right away? You just got back; and have you been feeling alright?" Quatre wondered steadily, his brows were furrowed slightly to show his worry, but he knew just as well as the rest of them that they didn't have much choice in the matter. Sure they could step away from missions or not respond quickly to them, but the Doctors had a good idea of what was going on and what they wanted to happen. When they got specific missions from the doctors they tended to follow them as quickly as possible.

With a bob of his head Duo tossed a few bottles of water into his quickly heaving bag. "I'm fine. Just a little knocked up from those OZ'ies," he gave reassuringly with a wink. "Not that they can knock anybody up that well." He sniggered under his breath and tossed a bag of miniature carrots into his bag.

"Maxwell, I just bought those…"

"Love you too Wufei." With a short wave he pulled open the back door. "Make sure to keep in touch. We don't want to be killing each other." He let out a cackle and stepped through the door into the crisp evening air and started the hike to Deathscythe. Half way he heard a jeep engine quickly approaching from behind and looked up as Heero slowed down beside him, with a nod he climbed up into the passenger's seat and let the other drive him the rest of the way to the site.

Heero was the first to break the silence that had become almost natural between them. "I don't know what's going to happen once we separate."

Duo nodded to himself, he chewed on his lower lip as he thought. "I know. I was thinking about the same thing. With any luck it's going to go diminish." Silence fell as they both considered the possibility. "Fuck." Heero's surprised licked through him, almost making him surprised by his own cursing. "I just don't have a clue how the hell they managed to do this. I mean…its fucking emotions and feelings. A chip in the brain? A transmission thing? If so then it has to decrease with area, right?" He was angry and desperate, he didn't want this, all he wanted was to fight and go through life – however short that would be. Who the hell had the right to mess with his mind and do something like this to him?

"I don't know." Heero said softly and shook his head. "But until we find out we need to be careful."

The braided boy sighed heavily. "Yeah, I know. I'll tell you when I'm gonna go in so you're not caught by surprise if distance doesn't do anything to it." His violet eyes moved to the other pilot thoughtfully. "Do you think the Doctors would know anything about this? Would J-"

"No." Heero's voice was sharp and clipped and anger, spite, and shallow fear stabbed into Duo, causing the boy to take a sharp breath. "Don't tell the Doctors. If they do anything about it they'll probably end up running experiments of their own."

"Alright. Alright." Duo turned away and stared out into the trees, a hand unconsciously massaging his chest, as though it would help with the pangs he felt. "Alright. After I finish with this thing I'll see what I can dig up on what they did to us. I'm going to be in the area, so it should be easy. With luck I'll be able to find the doc's who did this to us and get 'em together to undo it." Light shimmered nearby and he perked up, knowing they were practically upon Deathscythe. "Sound good?"

Heero was looking at him when Duo turned his head, the other's gaze somber. "Make sure not to get yourself into trouble." He paused for a moment, the small amount of uneasiness that leaked through warned Duo what was coming up. "We have to tell the others about what happened. If something goes wrong on a mission they need to know what's happening. It would be too dangerous for them if we don't tell them."

Hesitantly Duo nodded. He didn't like the idea; it made him feel ashamed that he had let anything happen in the first place. But Heero was right, and the man's mind had been made up, there wasn't any way that Duo was going to be able to change it. "It's dangerous for them no matter what. If you really wanted to keep them out of it you'd tell them that we're not doing co-operated missions until this thing gets solved," he suggested carefully, not sure how the other would react. Heero didn't seem against it though; he didn't think it was preposterous.

"You're right."

Duo rose an eyebrow in surprise and turned. "Serious?" He shook his head roughly. Of course Heero was serious, and of course he was right, why couldn't he be right once in awhile? Heero's confused concern tingled in his chest and Duo set his jaw roughly. He needed to learn how Heero cut off his emotions like he did; it wasn't a matter of survival, but a matter of stopping the other from learning anything else about him. Duo's deepest weaknesses were laid at the other's disposal and he hated himself for it. "Tell them whatever you want, just keep me updated on it," he added, indifferently. If only his mind could be as neutral as his voice. He was about to jump out of the truck when Heero's strong, calloused hand gripped his arm in a vice grip that would leave bruises. Duo didn't wince, but the grip instantly loosened to something more comfortable. "What Heero?" His violet eyes stared at the other expressionlessly.

"Stop beating yourself up over everything. You're a good pilot Duo."

The words shocked him enough for his eyes to widen and his jaw to go slack, and as soon as they processed completely Duo clenched his jaw and ripped his arm away from the other's hand, shame burning deep inside of him. Who was he to make Heero think he needed to hear words like that? "I'm not a child Heero. I don't need inspirational speeches," he growled lowly before pushing himself away from the jeep and stalking toward the empty patch of forest that Deathscythe was resting in. He could tell he had just confused the other even more, had made Heero angry and exasperated, while at the same time troubled. But what did he care? The other could very well take care of himself. Finally he heard the jeep pull away and disappear back into the forest and his stance relaxed. With a sigh Duo jumped into the cockpit of his familiar friend, put his bags in the small storage area behind the seat, and downloaded his most recent mission.

- - - - -

"Did you find anything?"

Duo could barely feel Heero's eagerness and concern. Distance had definitely diminished the intensity of each of them feeling the other, but it hadn't gotten rid of it completely, that's why Heero was concerned. "No. The place was empty. Wiped clean as a baby's bottom," he provided in a low tone that almost bordered on a whisper. During his past battle he had kicked as like none other, and then the belt strap over his left shoulder had snapped and he nearly fell straight out of his seat. It had taken all of his energy to manage to keep himself in his seat and fighting, and even then he had suffered a few good blows to the sides of the steal, womb-like cockpit. He had cracked three ribs and given himself the smallest of concussions, not to mention the fact that his entire body was almost black and blue – his right side had a black strip diagonally from his shoulder to groin where his body had been constrained by his seatbelt, his left side was littered with marks from having been flung around every which way. "Completely empty. Didn't spot a soda can," he muttered, trying his damnest not to breath.

Heero's suspicion and concern rose. "What happened to you?"

"Got tossed around a little. I'm fine."

A rough snort came through the communication line; Duo could feel the other's disbelief and irritation. "Fine Duo." He paused. "By the way, the other pilots agreed, we're not going to do any co-op missions until this thing gets fixed, but they said to keep in touch with them in case we do need help. They also requested that we stay together." His voice was monotone but behind it he was almost tentative – almost, but not quite.

"What?! What are they talking about?" Duo hissed and groaned, hoping that he had kept it under his breath. "It's better if we're as far apart as possible. I mean, it doesn't go away, sure, but at least it gets less. You'd think that was a good thing. At least we can fight sufficiently without having to worry about breaking each other," Duo fought back. He could feel Heero's curiosity at his evasiveness and his nervousness regarding meeting once again.

"We need to keep an eye on each other. We don't know what they did to us; we're still only learning things. There might be consequences we don't know about if we stay away from each other too long," Heero countered, ever the cool-headed and reasonable one. Not to mention that he had made up his mind and Duo was only serve to amuse him by fighting back against it.

Duo decided not to give the other the pleasure. "Fine then. Come and find me," the braided boy muttered. "See you later." He broke the connection before Heero could ask him any more prodding questions about his current medical condition, and there was no way to be misleadingly evasive to Heero any more, especially if the other boy was going to be meeting up with him in the next few days. At least this way Heero would meet an unpleasant surprise when he walked into the safe house. Duo smirked and hissed as he maneuvered and changed the pile of pillows around as to put himself in the most comfortable position for sleeping – not that any position was going to be comfortable.

He woke up with a start in the middle of the night to a black room and the ghostly figure of Heero standing over him placing ice packs over his chest. The jerking of waking caused a sharp stab of pain that made him hiss and Heero's eyes twitch in a wince. Heero was far from happy with him, but he was more concerned with making sure Duo healed and was comfortable than anything else at the moment. Hopefully that would keep the other boy from lecturing him. After putting the last pack over Duo's right shoulder Heero pulled another blanket up over the braided boy. "That wasn't very nice of you," he murmured gruffly as he got the blanket up over Duo's chest and dutifully checked the pillows that were placed on either side of the injured teen, keeping the ice from falling down his sides.

With a crooked smile Duo let out a low breath that was meant to be a chuckle. "You were pissing me off Yuy," he explained softly, his brain still enshrouded in sleep and the need to not cause himself pain.

"Stop calling me that."

Duo blinked, surprised by the raw irritation he felt radiating from the other boy, a small claw of fear sprouted in his chest and instantly he tried to burry it beneath sleep. He didn't want the other pilot to know that he could scare him, but what sane person wouldn't let Heero scare them? The man could snap a man like a twig. But it was too late, Heero's eyes narrowed and Duo could feel the other's confusion. Thank God they couldn't read minds and Heero was a little dense when it came to people and social life.

"I'm aggravated, I'm not going to punch you," Heero assured softly, pulling his hands away from the other and simply looking down, brows still pulled together. Apparently he wasn't as dense to social life as Duo had lead himself to believe. "Why would you even think that?"

The braided boy looked away and closed his eyes. "I'm still not use to knowing that you feel anything Heero, much less being able to predict the outcomes of whatever emotions you do feel," he explained quietly. "Besides, I've seen you bend steal bars, you don't think I'm not scared of the thought of you actually getting angry with me?" The confession was a difficult one to make and it elicited more feelings of shame and self doubt from the braided boy. "When you grabbed me before I got in the Deathscythe five days ago you didn't even think about it…" His voice drifted off and he didn't both to move when Heero pulled back the blankets he had just pulled up, to see a dark ring of bruising around Duo's upper arm that was just starting to fade. "I have very good reasons to be afraid of you."

Minutes of silence passed in the darkness, neither boy speaking – Duo shamed into muteness, Heero not knowing what to say. "You don't have anything to be afraid of," Heero said finally, his voice subtle. Another long pause followed and Duo had almost drifted off back to sleep before Heero followed up. "I normally have better control over myself. I'm sorry about your arm." Surprise sparked in Duo as he felt the other's heartfelt apology – and something else. "Let me rectify my mistake." Heero's voice was husky and it was only then that Duo realized the other boy was hovering over him closely, both of them breathing heavily on each other, and he couldn't tell if it was a surprise or not when he felt Heero's hand slide under the blanket and under his boxers to gently grasp hold of his hardening member.

Duo groaned, his eyes rolling in his head. "What are you doing?" His voice was soft and choppy, his heavy breathing the cause of sharp bolts of pain rocketing through his chest and through the increasing haze of desire he could feel doubt spark in the other boy and he paused. A low moan drained unbidden from Duo's lips and his eyes opened a little more to flicker toward Heero. "I'm fine," he assured, his own voice rough. He shuddered as Heero nodded and started again, not bothered with whatever pain was in his chest. Duo normally took his stress out through masturbation, and with what had happened between him and Heero he hadn't dared, and now he wouldn't dare question what was happening, only accept that it was and that it felt good.

Heero's fingers slid over Duo with the expert knowledge of someone who was use to what they were doing. It was different than when Duo did it to himself, and it was different from when he had previously gotten hand jobs – and then he realized it was because Heero was doing it to him as though he were doing it to himself, and that Heero's breathes were also coming in sharp pants – Duo could feel lustful pleasure radiating from the other boy. The other boy was jacking himself off as well. Duo moaned at the thought and without thinking about what he was doing he reached up and grabbed the other pilot by the back of the head and pulled him down into a crushing kiss, shuddering as Heero brought him closer and closer to the brink while their tongues fought a vicious battle.

As the muscles in his abdomen tightened, Duo's back arched and his hand became a fist in Heero's hair as he let out a cry of pleasure as Heero brought him crashing over the edge. He didn't get more than a few seconds of breath before Heero was kissing him again, moaning with ecstasy into Duo's mouth as his own body quaked deeply as he came. When they pulled away they were both panting for breath, Duo confused yet pleased, Heero satisfactorily pleased with himself. Duo's violet eyes rolled over and met Heero's fogged gaze. "Hu?" Not the most graceful of things to say, but he couldn't trust himself to try making words just yet.

Heero smirked down at the bed-ridden boy who was still gasping for breath. "You think you're the only one who jacks off to relieve stress?" He questioned, voice still gruff. "Besides, I didn't like what you were feeling when I touched you."

"So you're gonna do that to everybody you meet?" Duo kidded softly, his words broken and slow. No doubt it had felt fantastic, and was still riding the slow waves of pleasure that accompanied one after a good release, but it was no longer doing anything to cover up the pain in his ribs, and arching his back like that had done anything but make him feel better.

"No," Heero said, clipped. Duo didn't know what that made him feel, but he was sure it would draw a better reaction when he would think over it the next morning after sleeping on it. "I'll get some towels and a couple of pills. I didn't mean for you to hurt yourself again."

Duo snorted with a pained grunt. "I never thought I'd hear you talking, much less about your feelings," he relented with a soft smile. His eyes slid shut as exhaustion dragged at his body. "That was good."

TBC…


End file.
